


The Ones Where I Insult People

by StarlightSystem



Series: TAU drabbles [3]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Transcendence (Gravity Falls), Ficlet Collection, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:15:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23124610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlightSystem/pseuds/StarlightSystem
Summary: I said on Tumblr that I'd insult any characters that were sent to me.
Series: TAU drabbles [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662520
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	1. Insult Lionel Sterling

Wow, looks like THIS dude loves his family too much! Summoning a demon to save his daughter’s life? This guy must be the luckiest dumbass in the world that he didn’t get killed and ended up with two loving children. And not disowning his son after he turns out to be the person who destroyed California? Give me a break! If you ask me, Lionel’s got a bit too much love in his heart! What a loser!!


	2. Insult Jay >:DDDDD

Haha check out this old lady in the library reading books about mythical creatures! She looks like she belongs in a library! Get it? Because she’s ancient and she’s boring and she probably knows a lot! And now she’s beating me up and everything hurts but who cares, right? You hear that, old lady? You can’t beat me up any worse than a day in the mines already does to me! What a fool – I bet all of her loved ones are either dead or were driven away by her neediness! Anyway I’m gonna pass out now


	3. Insult alcor?

holy shit have you seen this video of Alcor the Dreambender getting summoned by a cult with a human sacrifice, cursing all of the cultists so that they can’t see/hear/touch another person ever again, and then sobbing for 15 minutes over the corpse of the sacrifice? what a baby!! i thought DEMONS were supposed to be COOL. i expect a lot more disemboweling when i look up shock videos of demon summonings online! feeling genuinely distraught at life senselessly cut short? give me a break! next thing I know you’re gonna be telling me he used to be human or something! also who wears a black suit anymore? what is this, the year 2042?? i’m gonna summon this guy right now just to tell him that his ponytail sucks and that he’d be a lot cooler if he got claw extensions! call you back in an hour, love you mom


	4. I'm probly gonna die for this but... Insult Mizar?

Mizar, like, okay, cmon. Everyone knows she’s like married to Alcor or something, or she’s his sister or mother or like idk she’s a drop of his soul mixed with vinegar and sparkles and given physical form. Clearly these are well known facts. But wow if you’re gonna hang out with a demon all the time could you be a little cooler? All of the news you hear about her says she wears light up sneakers and “really know how to use a baseball bat covered in glass” whatever that means. Also why does she look like she’s literally in college? Pathetic! If _I_ was the half-human-half-demon-lover-or-mother-or-sister-or-splinter-self of a powerful demon, I wouldn’t spend all day speaking at conventions about how preters deserve rights! I’d be using my cool magic to fight the forces of evil – clearly not what she’s doing, right? Alcor deserves someone _way_ cooler. If you turn to the 57k word "fanned fiction” I’ve attached to today’s lecture notes, you’ll see all of this laid out: how Alcor is very cool, how Mizar could improve her aesthetic by going goth, how it’d be much easier for her to do demon stuff if she could breathe fire, etc. No I will not take constructive criticism. No this class is not graded on a curve. Mabel Pines, I can _see_ you texting someone and giggling, you’re literally sitting in the front row.


End file.
